and the heart of the alvinator.
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Monday, March 31, 2003 Clear Expectations Let me set the scene. Joshua is dying soon, and is giving an encouraging speech to the Israelites to solidify their belief and commitment to God. He has led them into the Promised Land, Canaan, where they have defeated multiple peoples and divided up some territory already. Joshua's famous quote, "But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD," preceeds the following: From Joshua 24:16-22 16 Then the people answered, "Far be it from us to forsake the LORD to serve other gods! 17 It was the LORD our God himself who brought us and our fathers up out of Egypt, from that land of slavery, and performed those great signs before our eyes. He protected us on our entire journey and among all the nations through which we traveled. 18 And the LORD drove out before us all the nations, including the Amorites, who lived in the land. We too will serve the LORD , because he is our God." 19 Joshua said to the people, "You are not able to serve the LORD . He is a holy God; he is a jealous God. He will not forgive your rebellion and your sins. 20 If you forsake the LORD and serve foreign gods, he will turn and bring disaster on you and make an end of you, after he has been good to you." 21 But the people said to Joshua, "No! We will serve the LORD ." 22 Then Joshua said, "You are witnesses against yourselves that you have chosen to serve the LORD ." "Yes, we are witnesses," they replied. It was great that God gave them a choice to choose Him. It strikes me how Joshua clearly lays out the expectations for the people. The people knew exactly what they were in store for, and they still chose God. Maybe they didn't know to what true extent God really meant, but they could never say that God didn't tell them what it would cost them. Looking into the N.T. now, Luke 9:23, "Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." I am always reminded at RW, how we talk about "kingdom values" and living life with these type of values. God clearly set up clear expectations on what it would be like when we choose to follow Him. It's so challenging...but you know what..I wouldn't trade it for anything else...=P. posted by alvin | Monday, March 31, 2003 Persistent Prayer In Sunday School, we briefly examined some parables as we are still going through "An Overview of the New Testament." In particular, I was reminded of the parable of the persistent widow, and just what Jesus said to introduce the parable in Luke 18:1. "Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up." I think sometimes when I pray I forget to really go at it persistently. Sometimes I'll pray for like a week about something, forget about it for a bit, and then come back and start praying again for it. I'm just reminded that God definitely desires us to pray persistently, and have the attitude of never giving up. Good stuff. posted by alvin | Monday, March 31, 2003 Re-sync I had the chance to reconnect with some of my dorm buddies from freshman year in Davis, all from the I.S. program building B in Tercero. (DY, TM, CY, SC). Seems like yesterday, we were living in the dorms and going to the D.C. together. All of us, except SC, lived in an apartment together at Temescal in North Davis. Anyways, I haven't seen most of these guys since I started working (almost 4 years), except when I would head up to Davis for graduations. It was really good seeing them again, and catching up on their lives. DY is definitely the most entertaining of the group, as he could succeed as an auctioneer or running his own business. I look forward to being able to sync up with them again as most of us are in the bay area. =P. posted by alvin | Monday, March 31, 2003 Friday, March 28, 2003 Wild at Heart Final Thoughts Alright, so going back to NW's question of if I resonated with this book and it's ideas...I think these are my final thoughts. Everybody has issues and wounds to come to grips with...core heart issues that only God can heal. For guys, the wound comes from not being affirmed of their masculinity wanting from their fathers, and therefore trying to find that affirmation through other means. I think for me, I struggled a lot with insecurity, finding my security in my abilities, education, approval from parents, expectations from others, etc. After coming to grips with the truth of my identity in Christ, which was extremely big for me while I was in China last summer, I think for me, the wound is much better. In terms of finding the battle to fight and adventure to live, I think that really talks about core passions and following those dreams and passions. I think in this stage of life, I'm still exploring those. I think also the concept of God doing something new and exciting, hmm...that is sometimes very tough for me to grapple with because I can't say I like change. Life to me is very process oriented. However, better understanding of how the author draws together different examples from the Bible about how God works differently. Being in tune with Him is the most important. Hmm...the final thought about this book and being a "guy-guy." Yes, I want to be a "guy-guy", being able to step out in faith, trusting God each step of the way, even though I may fail, or it's totally something new that I have never done before. Yes, I need to be able to be more like that...but isn't that true for all people who follow Christ? =P. posted by alvin | Friday, March 28, 2003 Wild at Heart Alright, so I finished the rest of Wild at Heart and will give it back to EY tonight at RW. If anybody wants to borrow it next, it may be a good time to get in touch with her. Anyways, my final thought from the author stems from his idea of finding an "adventure to live." He talks about different battles biblical characters faced and how each time God used a different strategy. For Joshua and the battle of Jericho, he had the Israelites march around the city wall. No other battle has used this strategy. The author then discusses Gideon and how God showed him that he needed only 300 warriors with torches to win a battle. No other time was this strategy used. Now, are these manly ways to fight battles. Hmm...probably not, so...the author says that this is part of the adventure. God takes us on these adventures that nobody else has gone on b4, relying us to trust in Him and have faith in that process. Cool. posted by alvin | Friday, March 28, 2003 Bottled Water Looking at my shelf now, I have collected 75 empty Alhambra drinking water bottles, within a span of about 3-4 weeks. My company about 2 months ago switched from Calistoga 24oz. bottles to Alhambra 16.9oz. bottles. Not sure why. So, anyways, I decided to start collecting them, and then recycle them all at once. They are all sitting nicely rows of 15, 5 rows of them on my shelf. I noticed that some other co-workers near my cubicle decided to also follow this trend. That's me, a trendsetter. =P. posted by alvin | Friday, March 28, 2003 Thursday, March 27, 2003 Great America As I look out of my office building I can see Great America getting ready for it's season opening this Sat., Mar. 29. I saw the "Drop Zone"-30 story tower, go down out of the corner of my eye, and I had to get a closer look. Our parking lot is located on the other side of the fence where the "Grizzly" roller coaster is at. If I really wanted to, I could hop into G.A. over the fence. I can't say that I have been a big amusement park fan, but I remember the good old days of high school, where my friends and I would get to the park right when it opened, ride all these rides, and then ride "Rip Roaring Rapids" at like 6 p.m., and be freezing wet, and then ride "Top Gun" until the park closed. Man, good times. Now, when I go to G.A., it's usually because of company parties, and instead of wolfing down the free buffet lunch to go ride more rides, I spend like 2 hours at the lunch area, finally being able to enjoy the food. I remember one time back in high school, we rode the Drop Zone and after that ride, WH did the carnival game, "Wacky Wire". The premise behind the game is that you have a metal tool, with about a 1.5 inch hoop as a ring in the middle. You need to manuver this ring around this "wacky wire" (a metal wire that is twisted) and if you make contact with the 1.5 inch hoop and the wire, an annoying buzzer goes off, and you lose. It's quite difficult, so it has a large prize for winners. I gave WH high props that day, because most people after "Drop Zone" are a bit shaky. Ahh...good ol' days. =P. posted by alvin | Thursday, March 27, 2003 Wednesday, March 26, 2003 Hmm...Interesting... Check out this news article...Management Changes. I work in the Serverworks subsidiary. Lots of interesting aisle discussions going on. Raju definitely built this company from scratch and did a pretty good job too. Not sure what will happen here, but God is sovereign. =P. posted by alvin | Wednesday, March 26, 2003 Tuesday, March 25, 2003 Yeah... Woohoo...vending machine worked...=P. posted by alvin | Tuesday, March 25, 2003 The Good Old Days When I first started working here about 5 months ago, everything in the vending machine used to be 25 cents, free fruit in the break room, cafeteria food was extremely subsidized, and they had Starbucks coffee in the drink fridge. Today reminded me of the good old days. As I tried to buy a Twix bar from the vending machine for 55 cents, I put 60 cents into the machine. I select the item, and the LCD screen says, "Please use exact change." I'm though to myself, "What the heck? Who designs a vending machine like this?" Anyways, I can't find a nickel in my drawer, and I'm too lazy to walk to my car, so alas, I'm not enjoying my Twix bar and instead blogging. =P. posted by alvin | Tuesday, March 25, 2003 More Wild at Heart Alright, so I have been reading more on Wild at Heart, and wanted to post some more of the author's thoughts. I myself am still processing some of his ideas. =P. A) Healing the Wound-The author spends a long time talking about this wound that exists in many guys, and how they don't acknowledge that this wound exists, and even if they do acknowledge the wound, they don't bother to heal the wound. The book emphasizes going back to the "am i man enough question?" cannot be answered by a woman, but must be answered by a man. Masculinity affirms masculinity, and masculinity can never be affirmed by a female. I thought that was fairly interesting, how he says that some men try to seek the answer to this question through women. B) Beauty to Rescue-The author states that the one question that women need answered, "am i lovely?". Women want to know that they are lovely, that they are worth fighting for. He asks why men don't offer all of themselves to women. Why? His answer is "Because we know deep down in our guts that it won't be enough...Either they refuse to give what they can, or they keep pouring and pouring into her and all the while feel like a failure because she is still needing more." So, obviously the author encourages the men, to try, to offer themselves to the women, to fight for her. Every day you need to fight for her and choose to fight for her even if you don't feel like it. This is intense stuff. =P. Anyways, check out Eldredge's website: www.ransomedheart.com. posted by alvin | Tuesday, March 25, 2003 Monday, March 24, 2003 Q & A On Friday night, I went to the college fellowship at my home church that I'm now the adviser for, and had an free-for-all Q & A session with them. It's very interesting being in this advising role instead of being part of the leadership team. It is definitely a new growing experience for me. My basic goal is to empower them as a fellowship and with what visions they feel God is placing on their heart, see those things come to fruition. Anyways, some sample questions, what is your fav. color? fav. movie? how many gfs have you had? what did you learn in college? what did you learn from past relationships? thoughts on the gift of celibacy? role of an adviser? why decide to become adviser? what am I passionate about? what vision do i see for this fellowship? hobbies? what characteristics do i look for in a mate? what characteristics should they be looking for? etc... It was interesting how 1/3 of the discussion centered on relationships. Anyways, I definitely appreciated their openness and honesty in asking questions, and not shying away from some deeper ones. I hope that most of the stuff I said was biblical...=P. I realized that God has brought me through so much stuff, through college, the transition into the working world, etc., that I had a lot to share about. So much so, that we didn't even get to the study that I prepared. It has been a blessing to joy to get to know them better, and I look forward to seeing what God will continue to do in each of their lives. My prayer for them, "May His will be done." posted by alvin | Monday, March 24, 2003 Car Finally Fixed For the 3rd week in a row, I went to the Toyota Dealership. I got a 30k tune-up along with some new tires, but was seeing this clear tire pull going to the left, and then to the right. Finally, now there is no pull. I was a bit frustrated with all the stuff that was going on, and thought that by bringing it into the dealership I was willing to pay a bit more for them to get it right...However, it still took 3 weeks, but at least I got time to read Wild at Heart. Anyways, reminds me of 2 years ago, when I bought a computer off of e-bay, which I definitely don't recommended to anybody. I wanted to be lazy and not build it myself, but found a huge slew of problems and a lack of support from the company I bought it from. Lesson learned...don't try to pull shortcuts. However, with this car lesson, I learned that even taking it to the supposedly right place...things don't always work smoothly. Ultimate lesson learned..."live and learn." posted by alvin | Monday, March 24, 2003 Friday, March 21, 2003 Affirmation I have been realizing lately how important affirmation is to me. I then thought about it some more and realized that it is at the core of God's heart. When we pray and give adoration to God, we are basically affirming his character, and the things He has done and will continue to do. He doesn't need the affirmation, but is pleased when His people give Him praise and glory. posted by alvin | Friday, March 21, 2003 Thursday, March 20, 2003 Answer to negative questions... We have some contractors here at work, and they were testing some boards. I asked them, "No failures?" One answered, "No." The other answered, "Yeah." However, they communicated the exact same thing, that the part did not fail. I was thinking about this a bit, and was wondering what is actually the correct response to my question. In the strictest sense of English, the "Yeah" response is correct, the "No" response is incorrect because it then would mean that there were failures. However, when I heard him say, "Yeah," I was surprised because I expected a "No" response because the parts didn't fail. Why do I think that way? I don't know. Anyways, I think the better way to answer..."Yes, there were no failures." Food for thought for those English buffs out there. =P. posted by alvin | Thursday, March 20, 2003 Famous People Last night after work, I was NW's guest for PCA's national youth awards dinner at Stanford. She actually took off even before dinner started because she had to write a story for the Mercury on the war, so I ended up staying the whole night by myself. She dangled this carrot to some guys at RW if they went swing dancing at the doghouse, so, since I was the only guy who went swing...free food for me. =P. Anyways, Phil Jackson, coach of the LA Lakers, Kerri Strug, gymnastics Olympic gold medalist, Ronnie Lott, pro-football Hall-of-Famer, and other famous sports folks were there. One thing I noticed is that everyone was so tall...=P. Anyways, NW and I took a picture with Phil Jackson, so that was cool. I guess, when I see famous people, I don't really get all too excited. I remember that I worked out next to Brandi Chastian at Santa Clara University before, women's world cup player who scored the winning goal for the U.S., I didn't want to bother her by talking to her because I felt she probably gets talked to a lot. I felt that she deserves her privacy. I guess, I always see these people as normal people, doing the things they love, but just being more seen in the public eye. They have tremendous opportunities to wield influence because of their name, and I think that can make huge impact, both positively and negatively. I remember at WCC, where one of the ministry consultants told me that moving up the corporate ladder allows you to have a stronger forum and platform for your Christian testimony. I think for me, the drive to become famous in the world's eye...I just don't have it...however, I do have the drive to become famous in God's eye, whatever that might mean. posted by alvin | Thursday, March 20, 2003 War is here Hmm...I remember asking my pastor about how to pray for the war and the decision about it and he said he also struggled with praying for this. He just told me, pray for the least amount of lives lost. I thought that was good, and have been praying that way. As a society, we have to trust our leaders and trust their decisions, even if we don't agree all the way. One of my fav. mottos from Intel, "Disagree and commit." Even if you disagree, you still go along with the group decision...sucking up your own beliefs to go along with the group. Watching the news last night, one guy summed it up the best, "The war has already begun. Nothing we can do now. I hope that the war will be short, and the least amount of lives lost." Yeah, good thought. posted by alvin | Thursday, March 20, 2003 Wednesday, March 19, 2003 RW Mission Statement I thought I would post it for my readers. It recently started appearing on the weekly e-mails that came out every week. "Real World is a ministry of Abundant Life Christian Fellowship that seeks to be a diverse community of single and married young adults who are deeply experiencing the love of God and demonstrating trust in God through faithful, kingdom-oriented choices. We envision that the members of the group will be devoted to God's word and to forming committed friendships, allowing the community to be a place of support and challenge, and allowing each person to respond to God's calling with joyful action." posted by alvin | Wednesday, March 19, 2003 Transitions Young adult life is all about transitions. From college to the real world is a very tough stage of life, because many things are unsettled. This is a lot of the sentiment I get from my friends, and also some of the same things I think about. I think as a "J" it's tough for me to live life without clear, set structures. However, I believe God is teaching me to be okay with that. Let me parallel transitions with some engineering stuff. It reminds of me of digital transition from 0 to 1 or 1 to 0. Ideally, you want a very smooth, sharp transition edge, where you can be stable very quickly, either 1 or 0. Being "metastable (neither a 1 or a 0...virtually undefined)" is one of the worst stages to be in as it can mess up all your state machines. However, you realize that we live in an analog world, and all digital signals, eventually become analog. Analog signals have ringing, overshoot, undershoot, etc. and as long as you hit the threshold voltages, you can be the 1 or 0, not metastable. Anyways, what am I trying to say. I think bottom line it is always nice to know all the answers, to see clearly ahead to the next goal and step. However, it's okay to live in this analog world, where you don't know all the answers, but at least know enough where you can get out of the metastable state. posted by alvin | Wednesday, March 19, 2003 Some More Wild at Heart So, after reading some more, here are some more thoughts. I feel overall that the author is a very strong guy-guy and brings a very manly perspective. I think I resonate a bit in the sense of adventure, standing up and fighting for what you believe in. He says that a man's deepest question needs to be answered from his father affirming him that he is man enough. The author uses the word "emasculate" a lot, and I realized that when a couple of us watched "My Sassy Girl", JC used the same word to describe the main character. I wonder if he read the book before we saw that movie. Anyways, the author definitely encourages me to go to the core of their soul and discover their manhood, including the instinct to fight and not let down. I think there is definitely a balance, but I would say that typically most men back down than really fighting, because society deems shows of aggression as negative. Anyways, just some thoughts. =P. posted by alvin | Wednesday, March 19, 2003 Monday, March 17, 2003 Wild at Heart EY let me borrow this book, saying that lots of folks in RW have read it. The book says how Christian men are taught and raised to be "nice guys." The author encourages men to really explore what's at that heart. His basic thesis is that all men desire the following 3 things: a) a battle to fight, b) an adventure to live, c) and a beauty to rescue. It talked about how men of the Bible Jesus, John the Baptist, Moses, etc. all had wilderness experiences allowing them to tap into their inner core and soul. By revisiting the heart, then men can be unlocked to become the men that God created them to be. On the way back from the Doghouse on Sat., NW asked if I resonated with these three ideals. I have only read about 30 pages, and I'm not sure if I'm so convinced that these type of drives exist inside of me. Gotta' think about it some more. In part of the "beauty to rescue" it says how the pursuit of the girl is not the adventure in itself. They want to join alongside in the adventure. Hmm...what do beauties need to be rescued from? I don't know...gotta' read more. posted by alvin | Monday, March 17, 2003 Wet from Rain So EY, CO, AL and myself headed down to University Ave. for some grub after RW. We were trying to recruit some more girls to come and she said something that I totally didn't expect from her...She goes, "I'm enough woman for the 3 of you." Go EY!!!!! Anyways, we walked around in the rain for about 45 minutes, not deciding where to go. We finally ended up at University Cafe, and the restaurant portion of the place was already closed, thus not achieving my original goal of this excursion. Definitely stretching my "J" nature...=P. posted by alvin | Monday, March 17, 2003 Psalm 73 JC led the study on Psalm 73, and my bottom line take-away is about "Perspective." We actually had the largest turn out for our Bible Study in a long, long time, a total of 8 people. Yippee!!!! Psalm 73:23-26 23 Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. 24 You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. 25 Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. 26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. I mentioned that the the Psalmist stopped at vs. 14, man, that would be one depressing Psalm, but luckily Asaph didn't. It reminded me of the song "Enough" by Matt Redman and how God is totally enough for us. Sometimes when we view situations with eyes looking inward to ourselves, we can have the attitude of the beginning verses of the Psalm, however, when we shift our "Perspective" to that of Christ...our vision becomes clear, and we realize that God is definitely more than enough. We had a final game at the end in which we had to arrange words to portions of the Psalms without using the Bible. JC used the back of his old business cards for the words. Definitely good practical use of old business cards. Anyways, JC gave prizes to the winners...which was not our team. Next time though...=P. posted by alvin | Monday, March 17, 2003 Which Care Bear Are You? I stumbled across this from RC's page. I think it's only for girls, and honestly, I can't remember if there were any "boy" care bears. =P. Care Bears Quiz posted by alvin | Monday, March 17, 2003 Thursday, March 13, 2003 Pursuing Mediocrity I am reading this book right now, where it challenges workers to pursue excellence. It asked if instead of pursuing excellence, we are content with pursuing mediocrity. The author asks us if we basically do enough to just get by...the minimum required. I was a bit challenged by this. GenXers are very pragmatic...Remember in class our favorite question when a teacher puts up something on the board, "Umm...is this going to be on the test?". So, as I thought about pursuing excellence, I remembered another sermon where the pastor said that we are taught to pursue excellence, but instead of pursuing excellence, pursue obedience. I was like...yeah, sounds good to me. So, bottom line...pursue obedience and then pursue excellence. Never pursue mediocrity. =P. posted by alvin | Thursday, March 13, 2003 Hurt... After Sunday bball/football, somehow my left hamstring is causing me some trouble. Doing some research on the Internet, I would call it a hamstring strain or pull. You are treat it using the simple R.I.C.E. method. R=Rest, I=Ice, C=Compression, E=Elevation. Hmm...I'm a bit anxious to get back into the gym though. Hopefully I can get in there tonight. posted by alvin | Thursday, March 13, 2003 Tuesday, March 11, 2003 A Heart Change I have been reflecting back to the last ALCF prayer meeting where I remember one person praying on behalf of another person, and although the prayer wasn't answered yet, she realized that God was changing her heart through prayer. I was thinking to myself..."yeah, wow...there's a ton of truth to that statement." Usually when we intercede for others, we truly desire them to change, and feel somewhat responsible for helping them in that process, sometimes maybe feeling guilty if they don't overcome these issues. However, we realize that through prayer, that God is the one in control (thus changing the attitude of our heart), and we submit ourselves and themselves to Him. Cool. I liked that prayer. posted by alvin | Tuesday, March 11, 2003 Monday, March 10, 2003 BLOG Someone asked me what BLOG stands for. I have no idea. Any thoughts? posted by alvin | Monday, March 10, 2003 Still lots to Learn Sometimes I have the perspective that I have finished learning all I can from my parents. I feel like I'm old enough to deal with things on my own, and I know things better. Gosh, I realized again, how stupid is that perspective. My parents can still teach me a lot. Lots of life is about "living and learning," they have been there before, and have experienced more of life than I have. I just need to swallow my pride and be humble. They always have my best interests in mind. posted by alvin | Monday, March 10, 2003 Wise vs. Foolish SS led bible study on Matt. 7:24-29. A couple key points that I thought were interesting. 1. Both houses went through the storms. 2. The house foundation wasn't tested until the storms came. 3. The builders had a choice as to where to build the house (rock or sand). A couple takeaways for me. Everyone will go through storms...there's a part of life. God never promised the easy life for us. I think the phrase, "the rubber hits the road" is a reminder for me that faith is tested most when the trials come. It's easy to follow God when life is good, but following Him when life is tough is the challenge. And of course...the choice. Choose to build the house on the rock, for that's the foundation that will stand. posted by alvin | Monday, March 10, 2003 Filet-of-Fish Before RW on Friday, I went to McDonalds and took advantage of their 2 for $2.22 meal (2 filet-of-fish) at 101/Rengstroff. After RW, I dropped HM back at her car, and we went to McDonalds again. I had two more Filet of Fish, while she took down a double cheeseburger. I was a bit dehydrated from cramming down 4 filet-of-fish that night, but felt okay the next morning. On Sunday before football/bball at Paly, I ate two more. =P. I am now seriously reconsidering my fast food habits to be healthier, but will need to think about it some more. I really like the Jack in the Box tacos though. =P. posted by alvin | Monday, March 10, 2003 Thursday, March 06, 2003 Trust I thought I would share these verses with you from Jer. 17:5-8: "This is what the Lord says: 'Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.'" In RW, last week's bible study talked about bearing good fruit, and what that means and encompasses. I think as I reflect on these verses, I am really comforted to know that when I trust in the Lord, having my full confidence in Him and not in my abilities, education, success, He will allow me to bear fruit. Anything I try in my own abilities, goes nowhere. As I reflect on some different life choices that are in front of me, I have to trust that if He is leading me in that direction, He will provide...and not only provide, but provide abundantly. posted by alvin | Thursday, March 06, 2003 Wednesday, March 05, 2003 Go Warriors Woohoo...the Warriors have now hit the .500 mark, at 30-30 with their 6th consecutive victory over the Indiana Pacers last night. Time to jump on that bandwagon. All aboard!!!!! posted by alvin | Wednesday, March 05, 2003 Tuesday, March 04, 2003 Unsettled in Life Talking with many young adults, I feel one of our biggest struggles is this anxiousness, antsy, unsettled feeling we have in life. Being in our jobs or school...is fine, but we ask ourselves, what's next? where am I going? what am I doing? In college, the goal was very clear: GRADUATION. Now as young adults, what are the goals? getting married, going overseas, etc? I think when we don't know what's next and just existing in life; this is where the unsettled feeling comes in. How do we reconcile this? From Psalms 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." From Psalms 130:5 "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope." For me, the discipline of listening to God and quieting myself before him is tough. I try to keep myself busy sometimes so I don't even need to think about future. My encouragement to you..."Go deep with God." Be in His Word and be in prayer. posted by alvin | Tuesday, March 04, 2003 Monday, March 03, 2003 Getting old... Yesterday, during bball at MA, I was really struggling physically. The #9 from Togo's for lunch, I guess didn't help. I was debating between the #16 (Italian sub), and #9, but was finally convinced when it said, "lean pastrami," that would be okay, but let's say...lesson learned. Anyways, I was still a little sick, and was sniffling a bit on the court. I started to develop a headache after game 2. After game 4, gosh...I was pretty wiped out...my head was pounding. I took some time to recover, and then began driving home. I was trying to regulate my body temp. and was turning on and off the ventilation in the car, adjusting hot/cold, sweating all the way home. My hands felt a bit numb and I felt like I was going to pass out.... I kept taking deep breaths, and was looking forward to just getting home and resting. I finally got home, got out of the car, and got a cramp in my right thigh. That is the first time I have cramped up in a long, long time. Lack of oxygen I thought. I thought about calling my dad to help me get inside the house, but decided against it. I get into the house, greet my parents, shower and then hit the bed. I slept for like 2 hrs. My head is still hurting some today. I pushed myself pretty hard over the weekend...and yeah, I need to sleep more...not as young as I used to be. posted by alvin | Monday, March 03, 2003 Not Settling On Friday night after RW, some of us ended staying till like 12:45 a.m. just talking about random hypothetical questions, such as "If a meteor hit the earth and half the population died, would you want to be dead or still be alive?" We justified staying out that late in the cold as a final tribute to meeting at Cubberly. We are going to meet at ALCF from now on. Anyways, one question that all of us were unanimous on was, "Would you rather be in an unhappy marriage or be single?" All of us within 5 seconds, "...rather be single." Why so unanimous? Marriage is like for the rest of your life...choosing to forsake all others and making the conscious decision to be with this person forever. Gosh...super sobering. The TV show that is coming out that has the public choose who marries who...really makes the marriage commitment look so fluffy. For me, I don't want to settle, just for the sake of getting married. Much better to be single than to marry for mediocrity. posted by alvin | Monday, March 03, 2003 Saturday, March 01, 2003 Closure to Wonderland It is with great sadness that I make this announcement. One of my fellow bloggers is stopping. I found out yesterday that AL's Wonderland is not going to continue. Thank you to AL and his thoughts. posted by alvin | Saturday, March 01, 2003 |
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