and the heart of the alvinator.
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Tuesday, March 30, 2004 New Albums New albums posted. C-mac's birthday and my housewarming party (Leap Year at Lage Dr.). posted by alvin | Tuesday, March 30, 2004 Friday, March 26, 2004 Parakaleo Ministries I apologize to my readers for not posting as often as before. Been pretty busy with a lot of things going on in life, and blogging has taken a back seat. Anyways, I'll be heading to this class on Tuesday, 3/30. Check out the schedule here, for 3/30. The teachers, Steve and Erika Lawry love the Lord very much and are good expositors of the Word. I would like to hear what they have to say. The class is free, although they accept donations for their ministry. Let me know if you are interested, and I can meet with you beforehand, so that you won't get lost at Stanford campus. posted by alvin | Friday, March 26, 2004 Thursday, March 25, 2004 Samantha's B'day Album New Album posted. Please see right hand side. posted by alvin | Thursday, March 25, 2004 Monday, March 22, 2004 Congratulations to my cousin Phil I wanted to wish a congratulations to my younger cousin Phil who got engaged this past Friday. Check out engagment photos here. posted by alvin | Monday, March 22, 2004 Thoughts from Clubbing... I went clubbing for the first time, this past sat. at the DNA Lounge in SF, for a kickoff party for StirTV, an Asian-American type variety show. The party was hosted by elementsf. When I told people I was going clubbing most people were pretty surprised. Judy summarized it best, "You don't seem like the clubbing type." I'm not sure how to respond. Anyways, a couple thoughts. 1. On carpooling: As young adults, it is rare to find people to drive. The statement, "I'll drive if I have to," is commonly used. Everybody wants to carpool, but nobody wants to drive. Ironic. In most group situations I think it is better that guys drive instead of girls. I think most girls would also prefer it this way too. Driving is a way of serving another person. Anyways, we needed 2 cars. I drove (4 girls in my car...yeah!!!!!) and Cynthia drove. The other guys held strong in not driving, even when Cynthia said she needed to get gas. Hopefully they pitched in for gas. =P. 2. On environment: When I first walked into the club, it was a bit foggy so I really couldn't see well. It was extremely crowded too. I'm amazed how they can keep the sound from going outside. The floor ends up being pretty sticky, from all the spilt alcohol. In walking upstairs, I ran into someone I met at the RW retreat. So random. 3. Clubbing Observations: Well, I guess there are two main things to do at a club, drink and dance (i guess you can also people watch...aka "hoochie mamma watch"). It was way too loud to talk with people, as even catching people's names is quite difficult. Clubbing summary: "Dance, dance, drink, dance, laugh and point out person dancing on the box or on stage, dance, go to bathroom, dance, dance, drink, drink, dance, dance (repeat 4x)." It was interesting observing guys who were trying to pick up on some girls in our group by dancing behind him. No talking involved, just dancing. Can you say "sketchy guys?" Clubbing Safety Tip:It's important that there are guys in your group too, who know how to box-out to prevent other guys from randomly dancing their way into your group. This wasn't done that effectively, so something to work on. Never leave a girl by herself with random guys. Anyways, clubbing is more fun if you go with a pretty sizable group of friends, maybe at least 8-10, with good guy-girl ratio, better if higher girl to guy ratio. It seems that PDA is more widely given and accepted when some alcohol is flowing through the system. The music is super loud, and the more bass the better. 4. On Free T-shirts/Glo-sticks: It's about the economic factor, supply and demand (guns and butter). They had over 1000 free t-shirts and a lot of glow rings. I just like catching stuff, since it makes me feel like I won something. When people first threw out t-shirts (low supply), there was more satisfaction in catching them and more people trying to catch them, however, as supply increased, demand decreased. People didn't really care, letting stuff drop to the floor, or throwing them back to the source. I had an urge to peg the people throwing them out, but decided against it. There was like a clean-up crew for the t-shirts, and a ton of extras. I was thinking about how come in weddings, people don't want to catch things even if there is a low supply. I think it becomes too embarrassing to become singled out because of the implications of catching wedding items. =P...anyways, I digress. If you bring a purse or a camera, I think it's a bit cumbersome to carry it with you all night. Clubbing Tip for the ladies: Bring ID, money, and your cell phone only. I was glad I didn't bring my dig. camera, as it would have been too cumbersome to keep with me. Post clubbing thoughts: Overall, I had a good time. It was a fairly eye-opening experience for me. After a long day, what better fun than going clubbing with a group of friends. No conversation is necessary, lots of smiling going around, and dancing and drinking. I saw some old friends. Pretty random. I have been thinking about why young people go clubbing. A couple thoughts: 1. I'll parallel it to getting a job. Why do people get jobs? It's sorta' the next stage of life. Clubbing is what young people do to have fun. It is what society considers as fun, cool and popular. It's much more exciting to say you went clubbing than you went to a bible study. 2. Dancing is fun. No need to think, just move and feel the music. There are not many venues, especially in Christian circles, where people can dance without feeling self-conscious. A club provides an atmosphere for such. 3. Drinking is fun. Alcohol helps to release inhibitions and frees people to be less self-conscious of themselves. 4. Being with friends is fun. Increasing shared experiences is important to building friendships, and it's actually very refreshing to see friends care for one another...(if you know what I mean). Would I go clubbing again? Hmm...I think I'm open to it, but I guess it would really depend on the situation, purpose, people, etc. posted by alvin | Monday, March 22, 2004 Monday, March 15, 2004 On RW Community We had another RW ministry meeting on Saturday morning. We always seem to run overtime. Hehe. Again, we didn't come up with anything too concrete, except that we will meet again in about 1.5 months. We actually had some space to spend some time just reflecting by ourselves as to what God is speaking to us about our community. I was going into this meeting with the mindset of brainstorming ideas to grow more leaders. However, this meeting was totally different than I expected. =P. More on the meeting in a later post. I'll just write some stuff about RW in general. I have been at RW for over 3 years now. The characteristic of RW that drew me in was their focus on Bible Study. Now, I have been to many bible studies in the past, but what was different at RW, was the honest assessment of people's lives in light of Scripture. No need to put on a happy face, if people were struggling they would say so. I have been in bible studies where it is silent, and it's like pulling teeth to get people to talk. At RW, I have always found it is different. If you don't talk, you won't be heard. I value studying the Word on a consistent basis. I enjoy being able to journey together with people in the same season of life who are struggling with similar issues, discerning God's leading, submission to God's will, social justice, anger, impatience, life-giving joy of the Spirit, relationships, finances, burn out, insecurities/inadequacies, evangelism, etc. I value being able to journey with people in the same season of life, being able to rejoice in blessings, and symphathize in sufferings. I value allowing people to explore and exercise their spiritual gifts, in a friendly and safe environment. Within our fellowship, about 30-35% serve in some capacity (bible study leading, prayer, worship, hospitality, SNAPping). However, as with any human fellowship/church, RW has its own unique set of problems. As a part of ALCF, our diversity make-up is not the same as the church. We do have a disproportionate amount of Asians (about 70%). Our desire is to better reflect the ALCF diversity make-up. Welcoming and integrating newcomers into community is a challenge, especially now as the fellowship is larger. We have a high turnover rate. Our retreats are able to draw people in, but retaining them is a challenge. Our desire is that within small groups and SNAP groups, deeper relational ties and bonds can be grown. This could be caused by the POMO/Gen-X. reality of low-commitment thresholds (and this opens a can of worms). Personally, It took me a year before I felt comfortable in this community. I kept going because the bible studies were too good to miss. In my own Christian journey, I actually took a year off from fellowship after finishing my undergrad. I was burnt out from all the serving in my college fellowship and church. After undergrad, I became a maverick christian, believing the lie that community was not necessary to facilitate a healthy a spiritual walk. I still went to church on Sundays though. I realized the importance of community and went to HOC5 (Agape), for about 10 months. As they transitioned to Thurs. night gatherings, I transitioned out of the Agape community and went to RW, and I have been at RW for over 3 years now. Crazy how time flies. How do we make the most of fellowship and Christian community in this season of life? Focusing on God's glory, and God's desires for our fellowship. =P. posted by alvin | Monday, March 15, 2004 Thursday, March 11, 2004 Guitar Repair Sent my guitar in for repair today. The mistake cost me $100. =P. posted by alvin | Thursday, March 11, 2004 On Fashion Part II... Thanks to all my readers for their comments. It's nice to know that people care. Anyways, I had dinner last night with Ken and my cousin Jason. Ken suggested that I ditch any polo shirts with company logos. He then graciously offered to go shopping with me at J.Crew, encouraing me to sell some company stock to finance this endeavor. I found this quite entertaining. He mentioned that it would make a clear difference, especially to the ladies. Words of Ken, "Try it out, and tell me you don't notice a difference." I have never gotten ladies solely on my physical appearance...(surprise, surprise). Girls are attracted to my......(i'll just leave this blank). Girls are more forgiving on physical appearance than guys are. Anyways, all of you would say that character is more important than physical appearance, but I will concede that in our society, physical looks do enhance attractiveness. You get more respect when you dress more professionally. Image maintenance is important. Anyways, thanks for my readers suggestions. I'll take a more proactive effort in dressing better with the following caveat; if it takes more time to dress better, I'll dress normally. And also, it's for the sake of me and not for others. posted by alvin | Thursday, March 11, 2004 Tuesday, March 09, 2004 My Poor Guitar I made a very stupid mistake on Friday. I was tuning my guitar for worship at RW (plug-in into tuner), and somehow thought it would be okay to support myself on my guitar as I got up off the ground. I heard a crack. Uh-oh. I looked and saw the plug-in portion of my guitar pushed in, and the wood is cracked around the plug-in hole. I feel pretty dumb about the whole incident. I will need to bring it into the guitar repair shop sometime soon. I just don't want to look at it, so haven't brought it in. I rather block it out of my mind for now. The guitar still works, but I guess what bugs me is that this was a preventable mistake. I was a bad steward of what God has provided for me. Someone reminded me to "mourn" the mistake, learn and move on. I hate making mistakes. However, I was encouraged when someone mentioned on Sunday that they appreciated the worship time on Friday. posted by alvin | Tuesday, March 09, 2004 Monday, March 08, 2004 Interesting Story...Understanding the Whys... So, I just remembered this story. At a friend's wedding last year, I was using my camera taking pics. This one guy, who is friends with the bride (went to college with her), teased the bride and said, "you haven't taken a photo with me." So, I proceeded to take of photo of the bride and this guy. As I uploaded my photos and told the guy that I uploaded them to a photo album, I gave him the link. The wedding was about 6 months ago, and he still hasn't looked at the album. So, I was thinking as to why he would have teased the bride in the first place for a photo that he really doesn't care about. I would conjecture that it could be a vie for attention. A desire to be known as important in the bride's life. I find it funny that he still hasn't seen the photo. posted by alvin | Monday, March 08, 2004 Bay Area Sunday School (BASS) I had the chance to attend the BASS convention in Castro Valley again this year. I am always blessed and encouraged by going to this conference. It is very well run. There are like 300 workshops offered every year. Crazy organization necessary. =P. A couple key take-aways: Ecclesiastes 1:9 "What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun." The morning speaker shared about this, and I appreciated her honesty, that she wasn't going to be able to give us any 5 step points to better more effective church leaders. She encouraged us to stop pursuing PERFECTION, PERFORMANCE AND BEING POLISHED. She emphasized remembering who we are, and whose we are. 2 Cor. 3:4-5 Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God." God does not call us to be successful, but calls us to faithfulness. From the other workshops, I also had a good time of getting some practical tips on leading more effective small group and bible study. I was going to attend a workshop on "Why Relationships Fail," but as I re-synced with some Sunset Chinese Baptist folks walking to the same campus, I felt a bit self-conscious going to a relationship workshop, so I went with the Sunset people to the "Leading the Discussion Method for Youth Workers." Hahahahaha. In the beginning, I had to share why I went to that workshop as an intro, and I said I was interested in learning the discussion method. I felt a discord in my heart, but as the workshop went on, it was really good, and I learned a lot that I can apply it currently to RW small group. God knew where I needed to be. The next workshop was actually taught by the same person, on the topic of making the bible come alive to adults. It was also really good. I like the diversity in the classes, and the teaching dynamics. The next workshop I went to dealt with teaching the bible to gen xers'. It was also very good. A pastor of a church plant in Berkeley headed that workshop. FUNNY STORY: Finally, I went to a workshop by Dick Purnell, maximizing your life. He is the head of this singles ministry, and he was single for 42 years before getting married. I appreciated his workshop very much. He was making a joke and the guy next to me was drinking some water. The joke was encouraging us to live productive lives as singles, and point out that Jesus had so much excitement in His life. He said, (acting like Jesus waking up...all groggy and mopey and such)..."i'm guess i'm going to walk on water today." hahaha. You had to be there. However, this guy next to me, started laughing so hard, that he sprayed the water out of his mouth on the two people in the row in front of him. It was so funny. I was laughing pretty hard. I went to dinner with some of my brother's friends after BASS (10 total of us), and low and behold...the guy who spewed water was one of my bro's friends. hahahahahahahahahahaha. what are the chances? A final take-away. As there is nothing new under the sun, what I was most impressed about was the depth of quality of the people teaching the workshops. I do not question that these people love the Lord, and are passionate about pursuing Him above all things. Their life is a testimony of God's faithfulness and goodness. One funny joke someone made, "Dad, how can I teach as effectively as you do?" The dad replies, "Son, meet with God every day for 50 years." Everything comes down to sitting at Jesus feet. The outflow, outpouring of our ministry is based on the deep internal well of our own spiritual walks with Christ. Argh...I wish I could substitute "Christian service" with sitting at the feet of Jesus. However, I realized that when I walk deep with Christ, my service becomes so much more life-giving and joyful. =P. Action Item: sacrifice some sleep, get to sleep earlier, to wake up earlier to spend better quality time with God. posted by alvin | Monday, March 08, 2004 Thursday, March 04, 2004 Every Guy's Dream? Hmm...I was chatting with someone online and she said, "isn't it every guy's dream to be asked out by a girl?". I can't say I agree with this statement, as it seems to undermine a guy's initiating and leadership. What do you think? posted by alvin | Thursday, March 04, 2004 On Fashion Will has mentioned to me on at least 3 occasions that I need to change my wardrobe. He says I still dress like I am in high school. Honestly, I think I still do. But why change? thoughts on this later in my post. Whenever I see him these days, he always comments on my fashion. Evolution of my work clothing attire: During my internships at Intel (b4 junior and senior year), I was all about Polo shirts and long pants. No shorts at work. As I graduated from college, I also wore the same type of clothing. When I went to interview at HP, 3 out of 4 interviewers had shorts on. I was like..."what the heck? that's awesome." So, as I worked at HP, all about the shorts and t-shirts. Minimal polos and long pants only if it was too cold. As I have started at my current company, I would say it's a mix of shorts, polos/t-shirts and long pants. I'm wearing more long sleeves too. I was hesitant to wear shorts when I first started, but now I'm okay with it. Anyways, as an engineer I don't see customers, so making a good impression on them is not necessary. If i was in sales/marketing, then it would be a different story. Anyways, I was chatting with PESI pal Iris yesterday, and she suggested two changes to my fashion attire. 1. Ditch the flannels/plaid. Back in college I was really big into flannels and wearing plaid colors. Part of it was the simplicity in putting it on. I could put on a t-shirt and then throw on a flannel over it. What good use of t-shirts. She suggested to go with less pattern oriented, and go with solid color button up shirts. 2. No more Vans/Airwalks shoes: She suggested that I ditch my comfortable walking shoes, and go with some Adidas, Converse superstars shoes or something like that. We discussed briefly why these changes were necessary. She said I would feel better about myself. I countered that I already feel good about myself and putting on new clothes would not increase my self-esteem that much. PESI pal Christine chimed in, that when I have a significant other, she will throw out my clothes and replace them. Hmm...anyways, I'm a simple man, and I accept myself for who I am. When I do need to dress up, weddings, church, etc. I do. Maybe I don't feel such compelling needs to dress up for work or casual outings. When I go swing dancing, I know I'll sweat a lot, so definitely t-shirts instead of polo shirts are worn. I guess, using that as an example...I dress for function over fashion. =P. I'm not well-dressed, and I accept that for myself. Any convincing arguments why I need to change my normal casual look? Currently, I don't feel the arguments are compelling enough...=P. posted by alvin | Thursday, March 04, 2004 Wednesday, March 03, 2004 On Guys Being Whipped... It's quite an interesting phenomenon. So, why do guys tease each other when one of the guys is whipped? As I looked up "whipped" in the webster's dictionary, the definition I was looking for wasn't in there. However, I guess, this one will do, "To strike with repeated strokes, as with a strap or rod; lash." When guys think of other guys being whipped, I guess it shows a sign of weakness, that the girl has become the leader and the guy does just what the girl wants. Thus the term...being whipped. I think guys should tease each other less, and encourage one another more. I like to tease "whipped" friends though. =P. Anyways, I think the concept of treating the other person well is the bottom line. I think it's refreshing to see two people who care about each other, and are willing to care for another person in the way they want to receive care. I am always bothered when my friends are dating and it is clear that one party doesn't treat the other person well. Anyways, it's okay to be whipped, but be careful as to what you are whipped for...ask yourself if this is pleasing God or pleasing man. posted by alvin | Wednesday, March 03, 2004 Guys and Competition Christine asked me to write something on guys and competition for her xanga, so I decided to also post it here. ***** i'll just write a brief perspective on guys and competition. i will make comments very black and white to try to emphasize my points. please realize that i definitely have personal bias, so take it with a grain of salt. i admit that i don't know much about the world, but this is a small piece of what i have seen and experienced in life. 1. ego and respect: guys have a ton of ego, and pride. they desire respect very much. guys always try to size up the other competition and see how they stack up. everyone wants to be the king of the hill. guys are VERY insecure, because they come to realize that they will never be the best, and always want to position themselves in the very best light possible, to (note here...not impress the girls...)...but moreso to impress the guys. (i learned this from one of my swing dance teachers). they want the respect of other guys. a guy who doesn't garner respect then becomes more insecure. guys put down other guys so that they feel better about themselves. they want to feel better about their own inadaquacies, so, they never try to do things they are not good at. (remember the movie shallow hal. the jason alexander character sees inadequacies in others because he is insecure about his own tail.) 2. risktaking: guys are afraid to take risks...asian guys especially, because it damages their fragile egos (reminder note: guys are insecure). a lot of being afraid to take risks stems from their perfectionist attitude. making mistakes is so "taboo" in asian culture...ex. "oooh, you got a 97%...why didn't you get a 100%." people have trouble accepting us for who we are (family, friends, society), and then we battle with those same issues of acceptance, thinking that by BEING perfect we will be accepted and respected. What a lie. God loves and accepts us for who we are, mistakes, baggage, etc. anyways, so, knowing that making mistakes is so looked down upon in our culture and society, and that taking risks, has high potential for making mistakes and looking foolish, guys always size up the competiton and position themselves in the best possible way as to not have their egos bruised. i admire the guys who take risks...who try new things, and put their neck on the line and are willing and able to be slammed, but then are able to pick themselves up, learn from their experiences, and grow. 3. guy friendships. it's actually quite sad that it's difficult to build solid guy friendships. everyone wants to be accepted and loved. a lot of guy issues deal from gender role stereotypes in our society. guys are taught not to share their emotions, feelings and such. and growing emotional intimacy with another guy...is totally taboo in our society. but at the core of solid deep quality friendships is a sense of emotional intimacy. guys rather focus on activity than on communication. although activity will hopefully help to foster deeper communication, many times it doesn't. doing activities are fun, and it's necessary, but shared experiences in themselves do not foster deeper friendships. it's the intentionality of building emotional intimacy. however, people have different levels of emotional intimacy, and some guys feel enough intimacy from just hanging out with other guys. who doesn't want friends to understand and accept them for who they are (girls and guys included? issues and everything. to completely by yourself...weird and all...and people like and appreciate you for all of who you are. anyways, back to why guys don't have emotional intimacy. the cause of this issue deals a lot with how guys are raised. they are not raised to ask the deeper questions of life that can help foster emotional intimacy. when did our fathers show us emotional intimacy? so...as an effect of desiring emotional intimacy, guys build this with their girl friendships. for guys, it's a lot more accepted to have a lot of girl friends, than for girls to have a lot of guy friends. a double standard in society. guys are looked up to for being pimps (note the respect issue here from other guys)...while girls are looked down upon for being hoes (non-respect from other girls). anyways, guys find it difficult to build close friendships because they are afraid of emotional intimacy and have difficult times building that with other guys because it was never modeled in a healthy, culturally and society-accepting way. The Path To Maturity: we need to look to Christ. nobody would argue that Jesus was a man's man. a true stud, but a truly sensitive gentleman. understanding the needs of others and responding to those needs, but also showing how much of a stud he was. teaching others...reshaping society's worldviews...reaching across social, generational, cultural barriers. a man of great impact, taking risks...building solid guy friendships. The answer to growing and maturing, comes down to sitting at the feet of Jesus and learning from Him. Unfortunately, since we are such a results-oriented society, it's difficult to do such...because we don't see immediate results. food for thought... posted by alvin | Wednesday, March 03, 2004 |
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